Asshole FAQ

General Notes:

Asshole is written by two people as freeware. Some things about asshole may not be perfect, but we would like to think that you can play net games consistently without any problems. We are either both at university or both working some where. At any rate, it is difficult to make frequent updates to Asshole. There is only so many hours in the day that you can code before your eyes go all buggy.

Tips:

• make sure you have ALL the software needed for networking
• if Asshole quits abnormally you will have to restart to use the NetSprockets again.

Q: How do I get networking to work?

A: In order for it to work you need to have several extensions present (depending on what system you have you may or may not have these). All of these extensions should be available from Apple. Without these networking will not work(Or worst Asshole may crash).

If you have a 68k using System 7.5 or earlier they are:

OpenTransport 1.1.2 or higher, CFM68k enabler, OpenTransportLib.68k, NetSproketLib68k, and ObjectSupportLib.

If you have a 68k using System 7.6 or later they are:

OpenTransport 1.1.2 or higher, OpenTransportLib.68k and NetSproketLib68k.

If you have a PPC they are:

You only need NetSprocketsLib and OpenTransport 1.1.2 or greater.

Q: Why?

A: Because I said so that's why! Now go to your room and think about what you've done.

Q: What is with the 'No such card' error?

A: This is an error you were never supposed to see, it was used for debugging. What it means is that a card was played or you received a card that does not exits (ie: not 0 to 53), in other wards, a bug. We THINK that this should not ever happen to a user, but if it does please let us know so we can fix it.

Q: Why is there so much lag?

A: I would like to blame the guy who is typing in the chat box when it is his turn. Just play darn it, and type in the chat box when it's not your turn. Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Q: Why does the help window always close immediately?

A: It does? I don't know why, it has never happened to me. All I can suggest is that you give Asshole more memory and see what happens. If you have this happen let us know.

Q: Why does the Gather or Join dialogue always close immediately?

A: Some some reason netsprockets is having troubles. Maybe there's extentions missing or an extention conflict.

Q: Why does my computer take control of all the other appliances in our house? i.e. The toaster spits sparks at me and the garage door is currently resting on my skull?

A: I hate to tell you this but your computer is now possessed. Immediately call a priest and have the computer exorcised. We suggest jazzercise.

Q: The eyes graphics are all messed up. What's going on?

A: Asshole runs in 256 colours. Asshole switches resolutions on start up and restores them when quit. If you switch your resolution to more colours while playing Asshole then the graphics will look strange. Asshole as been tested on many types of Macs from 68k macs to the new G3s. But it hasn't been tested on all macs. Some have reported having messed up eye graphics on a 9600 PowerMac and they swear on the bible that they didn't do the above. We don't know why it happens, but the game is still playable even if the eye graphics are messed up.

Q: Why must you choose such a rude name for the game? Do you think you are cool?

A: Hey, get a sense of humor. The card game is best known as Asshole so we'll call it Asshole. Besides, we didn't really expect this to be a public release. Greg has made other games that he never released, but once we realized it would be given to the public it was too much work to change the name. Anyways what would you have us call it? President? I don't think so, we're from Canada we don't got no president.

Q: Sometimes I am in a net game and I pressed play or pass, but the other players say it's still my turn. What do I do?

A: Yeah, I've had that happen. This rare problem would happen in versions upto 1.0.5, hopefully we fixed it in 1.0.6. If you are running 1.0.6 or later and this has happened to you let us know so we can work on fixing the problem. If you said play or pass and the server guy insists that you haven't played yet, just disconnect. This will make the computer take over and he'll say 'Pass'. Now you can rejoin the game, and take a random seat. Hey, maybe your hand will be better this time.

Q: Hey my friend's computer speaks the chat messages and mine doesn't. Why dat?

A: We don't have the speech library for the 68k macs. One must exist some where, I just don't have it to compile with the Asshole game. I guess you'll have to just get a new super duper power mac so that Asshole will speak the chat messages.

Q: Is there a version for Windows 95/NT?

A: No. And you should feel ashamed for asking. If you really want asshole that bad just buy a Mac it's easier for us that way.

Q: I haven't seen many updates lately... How about all the new features I asked for?

A: Asshole is quite playable for us so we have stopped working on adding new feature in fear of breaking the old code. We will try to maintain the code(such as making sure it still works with new a new OS or Netsprockets) but we probably won't be adding new features.

Q: Can't you make an Asshole game server so I can find other players?

A: No. But we can give something just as good: Game Ranger. Game Ranger is free game gathering service. You will need to download a new version of Game Ranger that has a plugin for Asshole at http://www.gameranger.com.

Q: What is Daifugo?

A: You mean you don't know what Daifugo is? Actually I don't know what Daifugo means either. Asshole was re-released commerically in Japan under the title Daifugo. We didn't actually have much to do with it. Chieko Moroi at MSD-Japan translated it and distributes it and he says it is reasonably popular. For more info go to http://www.msdj.com/.

Q: The computer screen is completely black and I cant read this FAQ.

A: Don't patronize me!

Thanks for playing,

Greg and Sean Munro.

Some dumb ass questions supplied by Jason Gemmill.